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Still adjusting.....

Every Sunday, the person doing the announcements at church asks "Are there any birthdays or anniversaries, this past week or this coming week?", and if there are, we have those people stand & we all sing 'Happy birthday' to them.

Today, when that question was asked, I couldn't help thinking, tomorrow my brother would have been 27 years old. Me or my mother used to announce his birthday, even though he lived out of state, because many people at church knew him...... but I didn't last year, and I didn't today.

I know where my brother is, and that gives me peace...... but it's days like this that are hard.
I saw a display at Hannaford of the new Bob Marley cd.... normally I would've sent that down to him for his birthday, since he can't get Bob Marley cds in South Carolina....... I would've called him to say 'happy birthday'....... but instead, it will just be another day.

It's little things like that that are hard to deal with....... like when somebody asks "how many siblings do you have?". How do I answer that? .... or when somebody asks about my dog tag....

Tomorrow, I have to work 3:00 - 7:00........ I have to go to work and treat it like any other day. People will ask "How are you today?" and I'll lie. I imagine that eventually, I will get used to treating December 6th like a normal day. I'll get used to not celebrating my brother's birthday...... but it won't be this year. This year it's still too hard.

That's it for tonight.
-Nakita
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  1. AnonymousOctober 5, 2011 at 10:33 PM

    It's ok if it's never "ok" again on December 6. We've had an actual party complete with oreos, m&m's, diet coke, & birthday plates/napkins for the last 2 years..we even sing happy birthday. Just remember that this December 6 - it's ok to still celebrate it the best you can :) chantel Pinkham

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